Today marks 2 months since Jose was arrested. Being away from us that long has not become any easier. I still have a sinking feeling in my stomach 24hrs a day. Today I just so happened to have planted a raised garden. The plan was for Jose to create three boxes for me. One would be dedicated for strawberries, one for herbs and another for tomatoes, peppers and what ever else we wanted. I ended up buying a raised garden kit, filled it with dirt and planted everything that fit in there. I had bought banana and poblano pepper plants, they are Joses favorite peppers. I was so naive last month that I bought them thinking Jose would be home to plant them. They were sitting in my bay window and I didn't feel up to planting them in the back yard. This was something Jose, Cairo and I were going to do together, having to tackle this kind of project without Jose is like me trying to program without keyboard.
My sister-in-law helped me, we put together the kit and planted the plants. I'm actually glad we ended up planting them, I would have felt really bad if I let them dry out. Here is a picture of my raised bed, I really wish Jose was here to see it. I'm sure he would have teased me about it, he's more of a power tool hurling, DIY guy.
The roses that are behind my house are blooming. They are beautiful. I planted a raspberry bush on the left and a blueberry bush on the right of them. There used to be a curve to that area, I pulled out the bricks and cut out the corners to plant the berry bushes. It was a lot of work, trust me I was totally wishing I had Joses muscles to help. When I spoke to him about it he laughed and asked if I broke a nail, I was proud to say I didn't. I told him that the project is being left as is until he gets home. It kinda sucks that life has to continue with out him, not that I want it to stop or anything but it sucks working on projects we had planned to do together. My desire to do this kind of stuff without him is zero to none but it has to be done. My co-worker described it perfecting, it's like you are mourning. The only difference is that it wasn't death who took Jose away and every now and then I can hear his voice. I feel miserable going through each day without Jose to share it with. Cairo feels the same way, he just got a new bike this weekend thanks to Grandpa, and even though he was very grateful and happy to ride his new bike he told me he really wished his papi was there to see him ride it.
Last week Cairo had an award ceremony for completing Kindergarten, it was amazing to see all those little people get their award. It was really emotional for me but I did my best to hold back the tears. I really really wished Jose was there to see his little boy get his award. I'm sure Cairo felt the same way. When I told Jose about the award ceremony he got really quiet and couldn't speak. I could not imagine how he felt to not be there to see Cairo with his classmates getting their awards. His silence was enough to bring me to tears, I was blessed to have been able to be there with my son. That is something that will never happen ever again, it was his very first year in school and it has now come to an end. Jose has missed a huge milestone in Cairos life, that is something neither will ever get back.
Today is the completion of 2 months that our family has been split up and the beginning of a 3rd.
The roses that are behind my house are blooming. They are beautiful. I planted a raspberry bush on the left and a blueberry bush on the right of them. There used to be a curve to that area, I pulled out the bricks and cut out the corners to plant the berry bushes. It was a lot of work, trust me I was totally wishing I had Joses muscles to help. When I spoke to him about it he laughed and asked if I broke a nail, I was proud to say I didn't. I told him that the project is being left as is until he gets home. It kinda sucks that life has to continue with out him, not that I want it to stop or anything but it sucks working on projects we had planned to do together. My desire to do this kind of stuff without him is zero to none but it has to be done. My co-worker described it perfecting, it's like you are mourning. The only difference is that it wasn't death who took Jose away and every now and then I can hear his voice. I feel miserable going through each day without Jose to share it with. Cairo feels the same way, he just got a new bike this weekend thanks to Grandpa, and even though he was very grateful and happy to ride his new bike he told me he really wished his papi was there to see him ride it. Last week Cairo had an award ceremony for completing Kindergarten, it was amazing to see all those little people get their award. It was really emotional for me but I did my best to hold back the tears. I really really wished Jose was there to see his little boy get his award. I'm sure Cairo felt the same way. When I told Jose about the award ceremony he got really quiet and couldn't speak. I could not imagine how he felt to not be there to see Cairo with his classmates getting their awards. His silence was enough to bring me to tears, I was blessed to have been able to be there with my son. That is something that will never happen ever again, it was his very first year in school and it has now come to an end. Jose has missed a huge milestone in Cairos life, that is something neither will ever get back.
Today is the completion of 2 months that our family has been split up and the beginning of a 3rd.
No comments:
Post a Comment