Call Nights

Call nights are a huge deal now.  We can't afford Jose calling home every night so he calls about 1-2 times a week.  When he was at a county prison for a month it cost about $120 for him to call my cell phone and a service provided by the correctional facility.

For those who don't know, you can't receive collect calls on cell phones.  You have to prepay to get calls through and the fees are huge!  You basically open an account where you deposit money.  There is a flat fee to deposit money to the account, then there is a fee to connect the call then there is a per minute fee and a monthly fee if you have the service for longer than a month.  If you add all that up it can be *very* costly to talk to your loved one in prison.  The more you look at this the more you realize how much of a rip off this is.  If you think about it,  you won't find rich people in prisons,  people who can afford to pay all those fees just to communicate with loved ones.  The majority are lower income and probably can't afford to make those calls or set up those accounts.  The system is set up to alienate the inmates from their families as much as possible, I can't help but wonder why?

We can't afford for Jose to call home very often so we have call nights, once Jose calls home we set a date for the next time he's going to call.  They are usually 3-5 days apart depending on what is going on.  I've set up a land line at home, the cheapest I could find, just so that he can call home and I wouldn't have to pay to deposit money into an account every time the phone account ran low.  Do you know it's like to not speak to your husband or wife for 3-5 days not knowing how they are?  For 3-5 days I don't know if he's ok, hurt or sick.  I can only pray that he is ok and that God is looking out for him.  I feel like a zombie at work, my mind wonders, I'm unfocused and find myself sad and crying through out the day.

As call day keeps getting closer and closer I hope and pray that he's change his mind and will call sooner than planned.  I toss and turn every night, I still wake up a few times during the night.  I couldn't sleep or eat the first month he was away.  When that night finally arrives every minute that passes is an eternity.  I go through my routine with my son and I just look at the clock, I watch every single minute pass and my stomach sinks deeper and deeper as the phone refuses to ring.  I get to the point that I check the phone for a dial tone and I call it with my cell just to make sure it still works.  When the phone finally rings my heart jumps and this feeling of relief comes over me when I hear the automatic message saying it's him calling.  I have to fight the tears when I am finally able to say "Hi Gordo!" and I can hear his voice on the other end.  You can hear the sadness mixed with the relief and joy to hear our voices when he speaks.  Tomorrow is call night, and I am a mess.