I met Jose at a neighbors birthday party. My family was there I arrived after spending all day studying at school, I was an undergrad at UIC. My parents had already known Jose. All I would hear after school is "Jose this" and "Jose that", I was a little annoyed to be honest but I had to see what all the hub-bub was about, so I made it a point to go and see who this famous Jose was.
I remember it like it was yesterday, I was in the living room talking to some people and in burst this annoyingly funny guy wearing part of a piñata on his head trying to scare one of the guys that was there. I got one look at him and I thought to myself "is this it?", I wasn't impressed to say the least. Not too long after that, I was on summer vacation and my dad asked him to help out with project at our house. The man was to dig a hole in the front yard for a sump pump. Jose dug that hole with a steady pace and ease. I was the water girl and watched every moment, needless to say he got my attention. We started dating by the end of summer by the following year we were married. I started the process to get Jose a green card then. We didn't continue because Jose would have to leave the country for 10 years before I could complete the process. This is one of those things a lot of people don't know. This is why there are so many people who are still undocumented even though they have U.S. Citizen spouses and children. Marrying a U.S. citizen does not automatically get a person a green card. This cartoon does a decent job at explaining the process for people who want to come to the U.S (not for those who are already here).
Two years after we were married Cairo was born. Two years after that we were divorced. Don't get me wrong I loved him very much and I'm sure he loved me, but he had a lot of growing up to do and I got tired of waiting. Quite frankly I didn't think Jose would ever change, he was a grown man set in his ways. We were separated for about a year and during that year Jose was more involved in our lives than when we were living together. He spent as much time as he could with Cairo. Shoot, he even started to get along with my family. He did as much as he could to help my brother at his house, Cairo and I were living there. Jose shoveled snow, cut grass, painted rooms, fixed this and that. He was around a whole lot during that year. After that year we decided to give our relationship another try, I did still love him after all and we had Cairo who desperately loves him. We got ourselves an apartment and there we were again at square one with a toddler. In these last couple of years Jose showed me he did grow up. He was more involved at home and with my family. We spent almost every weekend at my parents house and we even went camping a few times. Finally we were a family. We decided we wanted to buy a house and we did March 17, 2011. March 25th we moved in and 11 days later....well here we are. Jose's in an immigration "detention center" (it's a prison no matter what you call it), I'm writing a blog and Cairo has started seeing a therapist at the age of 5.
The thing that bothers me the most about this whole ordeal is finding out how unjust the laws in place are. You would think that once we were married and I started the process to get Jose a green card that there shouldn't be any hurdles. Yet there is, a 10 year long hurdle. Of course there is a waiver but good luck getting that accepted. Even now, if we can not keep Jose here, he would be at least banned for 10 years before I could petition for him to come home, that would mean Cairo would be 16 years old by the time his dad could come live with us in the house we bought. The other option would be to go live in Mexico, although if this were 10 maybe 5 years ago I might have jumped on the band wagon but considering all this stuff that's going on there (**warning, link contains violent images**), I'm scared out of my wits. I don't know how the families who are already there do it.
Jose is not a bad guy, he has a good heart, is a good dad and a good husband to me. He is my and Cairos family and we love each other very much. Sure he's made mistakes in the past but who hasn't? I've forgiven him, why can't our government? The problem with this government is that it does everything it can to make it damn near impossible to progress. Criminalizing moral decisions is not the role of government. Far too many minorities are criminalized for minor drug charges. The gap in sentencing between social classes and minorities is far is too large. Undocumented immigrants are held in "detention centers" but are treated like terrorists.
It's sad that people who are residents or naturalized citizens have this false sense of security. Any mistake, no matter how minor could be a slap on the wrist for an American but it means deportation for them.
I remember it like it was yesterday, I was in the living room talking to some people and in burst this annoyingly funny guy wearing part of a piñata on his head trying to scare one of the guys that was there. I got one look at him and I thought to myself "is this it?", I wasn't impressed to say the least. Not too long after that, I was on summer vacation and my dad asked him to help out with project at our house. The man was to dig a hole in the front yard for a sump pump. Jose dug that hole with a steady pace and ease. I was the water girl and watched every moment, needless to say he got my attention. We started dating by the end of summer by the following year we were married. I started the process to get Jose a green card then. We didn't continue because Jose would have to leave the country for 10 years before I could complete the process. This is one of those things a lot of people don't know. This is why there are so many people who are still undocumented even though they have U.S. Citizen spouses and children. Marrying a U.S. citizen does not automatically get a person a green card. This cartoon does a decent job at explaining the process for people who want to come to the U.S (not for those who are already here).
Two years after we were married Cairo was born. Two years after that we were divorced. Don't get me wrong I loved him very much and I'm sure he loved me, but he had a lot of growing up to do and I got tired of waiting. Quite frankly I didn't think Jose would ever change, he was a grown man set in his ways. We were separated for about a year and during that year Jose was more involved in our lives than when we were living together. He spent as much time as he could with Cairo. Shoot, he even started to get along with my family. He did as much as he could to help my brother at his house, Cairo and I were living there. Jose shoveled snow, cut grass, painted rooms, fixed this and that. He was around a whole lot during that year. After that year we decided to give our relationship another try, I did still love him after all and we had Cairo who desperately loves him. We got ourselves an apartment and there we were again at square one with a toddler. In these last couple of years Jose showed me he did grow up. He was more involved at home and with my family. We spent almost every weekend at my parents house and we even went camping a few times. Finally we were a family. We decided we wanted to buy a house and we did March 17, 2011. March 25th we moved in and 11 days later....well here we are. Jose's in an immigration "detention center" (it's a prison no matter what you call it), I'm writing a blog and Cairo has started seeing a therapist at the age of 5.
The thing that bothers me the most about this whole ordeal is finding out how unjust the laws in place are. You would think that once we were married and I started the process to get Jose a green card that there shouldn't be any hurdles. Yet there is, a 10 year long hurdle. Of course there is a waiver but good luck getting that accepted. Even now, if we can not keep Jose here, he would be at least banned for 10 years before I could petition for him to come home, that would mean Cairo would be 16 years old by the time his dad could come live with us in the house we bought. The other option would be to go live in Mexico, although if this were 10 maybe 5 years ago I might have jumped on the band wagon but considering all this stuff that's going on there (**warning, link contains violent images**), I'm scared out of my wits. I don't know how the families who are already there do it.
Jose is not a bad guy, he has a good heart, is a good dad and a good husband to me. He is my and Cairos family and we love each other very much. Sure he's made mistakes in the past but who hasn't? I've forgiven him, why can't our government? The problem with this government is that it does everything it can to make it damn near impossible to progress. Criminalizing moral decisions is not the role of government. Far too many minorities are criminalized for minor drug charges. The gap in sentencing between social classes and minorities is far is too large. Undocumented immigrants are held in "detention centers" but are treated like terrorists.
It's sad that people who are residents or naturalized citizens have this false sense of security. Any mistake, no matter how minor could be a slap on the wrist for an American but it means deportation for them.
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