9 months

We just passed the 9 month mark of our family being separated by inhumane immigration laws.  What has happened up until now has at times made us feel hopeful, hopeless and in some instances made us want to just say f**k it.

We are still trying to bring my Gordo home but we are running out of time.  His next immigration court is next week and I just want this to be all over.  I want him to be home, I want our lives to be back to normal.  The affects on Cairo have not diminished even though he is much more vocal and expresses his feelings more.  He needs to be a regular 6 year old that has both his parents at his side.  I just can't wait to see that day come, when I can tell my son that his daddy is finally coming home.

I've come to appreciate Jose so much more during this time.  As I told him in one of my recent letters, it's not because he takes out the garbage or because he helps out around the house or rescues me from spiders.  It's because he's my best friend. He's the one that makes me feel better when I'm down and helps me find a solution to any problem.  He's the one I need now during this time, not only to comfort me but so that we can tackle this situation head on together.

Today the administration announced more immigration policy changes.  Basically immigrants and their families can apply for waivers against the 3-20 year bars many are being faced with.  It's a great start and I really hope this helps out a lot of people I know who are now living in exile because of these ridiculous bars.  What bothers me is that there are so many who are basically ignored when it comes to policy change.  So far none of the policy changes made would help my family and many other families who are facing PERMANENT bars from the country.  Is it too hard to ask ICE and the federal government to at least respect state level laws when it comes to their definition of "conviction"?  They have split up immigrants into good immigrants and bad immigrants.  The problem with this is that their definition of "bad" immigrants aka those who have committed "crimes" is so broad that it is hurting people who are no threat to the community or this country.

None U.S. Citizens aka anyone with or without a valid VISA who have made poor choices in their past are now facing being barred from the country.  I'm not talking about people who have committed murder or rape or any type of violent crime.  I'm talking about people who might have driven a friend to buy a controlled substance or a person who accidentally walked out of a store without paying for one of their items.  Or someone who just made a dumb mistake that landed him in state court.  If they admit to their guilt they state normally gives them a slap on the wrist, but that slap on the wrist is enough for ICE to come looking for them, detain them, deport them and never let them back in the country even if they are married to a U.S. Citizen or have U.S. Citizen children.  Is that really fair?  Is it fair for a person who is married to a U.S. Citizen to be exiled from the country for a moment of poor judgement that was not violent or harmed anyone?  Is it fair to destroy a family over something so minor?  If the state can give that person a slap on the wrist why can't DHS?  I'm not only talking about people who have entered the country un-inspected, I'm talking about people who have student VISAS, vistors VISAS, people who are lawful permanent Residents.  Anyone who is not a U.S. Citizen can find themselves in this situation.

Again, don't get me wrong. I think these policy changes are good and hopefully will help a lot of people.  It's just that there are a lot of people who are left out and no one is really fighting for them.

As an update on the law we, we is too many, Mr. Little B and his committee, are trying to change.. it was voted upon yesterday.  I was invited to be present for the second presentation.  I don't know the results of the vote yet but from the questions and comments I'm guessing they are supporting the change.  At this point I believe they will asking the support of another group in the CBA, which I hope will also be in favor.  Once this has happened they will be looking for a legislative sponsor and there will be full blown petition signing and call your reps type of thing going on.  I'm really hoping this passes, so many people can be helped by this change in IL.

Christmas 2011

This Christmas was spent at my parents house.  It was just the four of us, Mom, Dad, Cairo and myself.  I baked a ham, we had some salads for sides and we watched holiday movies and cartoons.  Cairo and I spent the night so we could all keep each other company.  It was a very low key holiday this year.  We didn't make tamales and we didn't play games.  We didn't dress up or play holiday music.  I'm surprised how hard it was on me.  Thanksgiving was also low key but my mind was kept off of things...Christmas, on the other hand, was a bit harder to deal with, maybe because it's been almost 9 months since he's been gone.  Even when Jose and I were separated, we found ourselves together for Christmas.  This is the first and hopefully last Christmas we spend apart.

Cairo and I drove out to see him on Christmas morning.  I didn't know if they were going to allow visitations, but we drove out anyway.  I was thankful to see that they did and we were in the first group.  It was great seeing his smiling face.  I wanted to cry, having to say Feliz Navidad through a video screen.  Cairo was happy to see his dad but he got very upset after a while.  It was to be expected.  We have court coming up soon after the new year.  I'm hoping we'll have good news then.

Jose seems to be in better spirits.  He's sounding more calm and is ready for what ever may come our way.  I'm off this week so I'm enjoying hanging out with Cairo and watching him play and be a kid.  I just wish Jose can see him.  Cairo has grown so much and is such a funny little guy.  Hopefully next year will be a much better one filled with blessings.  

Attorney number 3 ?

As some may know and many others may not know, if you plead guilty to a crime, regardless of how minor, and you are a none U.S. Citizen you will be deported and exiled from the country, because it is a "conviction" under immigration law.  In some cases people are told to plead guilty because it is the easy way out and they will not serve time.  Which may be a great deal for a U.S. Citizen but if you are not, it can have dire consequences in the future.  People who are none Citizens are served a double punishment, the one that is dished for the crime and the other dished by immigration.  This means that a U.S. Permanent Resident, who has been in the country for 15 years and pleads guilty to petty theft, like stealing a snickers bar from a convenient store, or for a traffic violation, or possession of a minimal amount of a drug, this would get misdemeanor charges or very minor felony charges but then after pleading guilty they would be deported and barred from ever re-entering the country.  This seems extremely harsh form something so minor, but it is the reality of what many none Citizens are facing.  This page pretty much describes it better than I ever can.

The good news is by law a none Citizen must be advised of the immigration consequences before entering a plea of guilty, otherwise it is a violation of their rights and in many, if not all, states you are allowed to go back and have your case reviewed so that if your rights were violated and you can prove that if you would have plead not guilty the outcome of the case would have been different you can fix it and remove the conviction.  The bad news is most people don't even know their rights were violated until they are picked up by immigration years after the fact which isn't a problem in some states but if you live in Illinois like we do, it is a major problem.  In Illinois, the only way you can go back and have your case reviewed for rights violations or for a judge to have jurisdiction to review it is if you fall under one of the following:

1. If you are on probation for the crime in question
2. If you are on parole for the crime in question
3. If you are in state custody for the crime in question

Considering that most people do not find out about the immigration consequences until they are arrested by immigration officers which can be years later, many none Citizens are facing deportation and are blocked from any type of relief.  So it doesn't matter if they are married to U.S. Citizens or have U.S. Citizen children or if they served in the military or how long they have been in the country, they will be deported and barred from the country.

This is what we are facing.  Jose is not going to get a 10-20 year punishment, he's going to be exiled and even though he's been in the country for 17 years and he has a U.S. Citizen wife and child, he has no way to fight his case.  Even though he pleaded guilty to a minor charge he will be exiled because it's been six years since he pleaded guilty and he doesn't fall under the requirements to have his case reviewed. I've sent letters to the States Attorneys Office, I've actually gotten a response but even though they are sympathetic, they refuse to help us. 

Last week I was present at the Chicago Bar Association Legislative Committee meeting.  I was invited by Mr. Little B because he and another attorney were presenting an amendment they want to make to Illinois law that would allow anyone to come back at have their cases reviewed if their rights have been violated regardless of when they find out about it.  As it is now, someone who has been sitting in prison for 18 years on a 20 year sentence can have their cases reviewed but someone who as has completed a 5 year sentence can not.  The change would not mean that these cases would be thrown out, it would just allow them to be heard in the first place.  This amendment would greatly help Jose but I don't if it will be in time.  After this meeting I stopped by to see Mr. L. and asked him about Joses other case.  He basically said that we are facing a brick wall and he didn't want to try to get our case reviewed because we'd be blocked right away because of the jurisdiction issue.

This is where attorney number 3 comes in, that will be a total of 4 attorneys working on Jose's case.  Criminal and Immigration wise, not to mention the countless I spoke to before I hired anyone.   I spoke with Mr. Little B. shortly after talking to Mr. L.  He basically said to get a second opinion and he referred me to another criminal attorney, let's call him Mr. R. .  I told him I don't know how speaking to another attorney will change the current laws.  His response was: just like you get a second opinion for a health issue you get one for a legal issue, call him.  So I called, the consultation is free.  The attorney he's referred me to has been successful at these cases, as a matter a fact he recently won a very similar case not too long ago.  This kind of gives me a little more hope.  I've sent him all the relevant documents over the weekend but I have not heard from him yet.   I called him earlier today but he was not available.  I'm crossing my fingers that something good will come of this.  Wish us luck!

8 months

So now it's been 8 months since Jose has been detained.  I don't have any major updates on either case.  Our attorney is working on trying to get the state to help us vacate Jose's old case.  Meanwhile I've been working with immigrant groups.  I was invited to the Chicago Bar Association Human Rights Committee meeting last month to tell our story and what mandatory detention is doing to our family.  I think I did an ok job.  Everyone looked kinda depressed when I was done.

Jose's next immigration court date is Jan 11.  I went to see him yesterday, he had asked not to take Cairo because Cairo gets angry and doesn't talk to him or let me talk to him, so we decided that I'd take him every other week for now.  The focus of our conversation this time was planning out what to pack up for Jose if he is deported.  He requested I buy him some cloths, shoes and money to take to him that day.  It was like I was stabbing myself every time I said "si....si....si".  He's right, we have to be prepared for the worst and the worst is that he will be deported and forever be banned from the country.  What would happen after that? I don't know.  My Aunt is here visiting from Mexico and to be quite honest she's freaking me out.  If we were to move to Mexico, our option is Monterrey.  That is where all my family is, it's a big city (unlike where Jose is from) and we'd be able to find work...we hope...and the quality of life would not be too dramatic.  Of course it will be different, there's no denying that, but the roads are paved, there are grocery stores and schools and we'd have a washer and dryer somewhere.

Cairos anxiety is getting worse.  He's started to draw blood from ripping his nails off.  I've given him paper to tear and my friend is getting a bunch of anxiety balls for him but the paper is not helping.  When ever he's idle, in between choosing what toy to play with or watching TV or in the bathroom, he's there ripping his nails off.  I was hoping going to therapy and finally being able to see Jose would slow it down but it hasn't.  Cairo is just as angry as he was in the beginning.  He actually yelled at Jose the last time we went to see him.

I keep planning out in my head what our options are to live in Mexico.  I am not fond of what is going on down there now.  My family has quite frankly freaked me out. If we move, we'd be moving to Monterrey.  10 years ago I would have been all gun hoe about moving but now, I must admit, I'm concerned.  Jose would stay there with my family. We figure there will be a better opportunity for him to find a job there, in the big city rather than in the dirt road rancho he's from...but then what?  I know it's all doable but I'm a planner and a thinker, it sucks because that holds me back sometimes.  Will he and I be able to find jobs?  Should we try setting up a business?  What kind of business?  Will we make enough to give Cairo a decent life?  What about Cairos school?  What about the violence?  Is it really that bad?  Where would we live?  What if we have more kids?  How will Cairo deal with the change?   How long will it take for us to sell the house and move? I go over these things, over and over again....I compare my job now, where I make a decent living and have benefits, to ...... what?

I'm scared.  I'm scared of the unknown and not knowing what direction this is all going.

I'm Mexican

I thought this comment is worthy of it's own space.  When I drove to the McHenry County prison last week to sign the paperwork for the marriage license and all I noticed at the bottom of the marriage application were two questions:

1. Is the Groom MEXICAN? ___ Yes ___ No
2. Is the Bride MEXICAN?   ___ Yes ___ No

Both were checked at 'Yes'.  Now, I know I've been a little touchy about Latinoism and discrimination lately....ok let's face it, I've been a lot touchy...but I thought this was an odd question.  I probably wouldn't have noticed if the application had perhaps something like:

1. Is the Groom  ___ Mexican  ___ Chinese ___ Irish  etc...  ?
2. Is the Bride     ___ Mexican  ___ Chinese ___ Irish  etc...  ?

But it didn't.  It specifically asked if either or both of us were Mexican, yes or no.  I have no problem being "Mexican", I'm Mexican-American, there's no denying it....but considering that I was born and raised in the U.S. making me a I don't know, U.S. Citizen AKA American. I just thought it was odd. To be honest I thought there was some sort of confusion and honestly the last thing I need right now is for someone to question my citizenship.  I asked the woman at the counter why it was checked off for both of us as "Yes".  She responded because our parents are Mexican born, and that the info is used only for statistical purposes.

Hmmm....Ok, here are my thoughts on that.  If it's because our/my parents were born in Mexico then why isn't the question "Is the Groom/Bride of Mexican Descent?".  Why the hell do they only care about "Mexicans" getting married in their pokey, middle of nowhere county? So if I'm "Mexican" because my parents were born in Mexico, is Cairo the only "American" in my household because his mom (AKA me the Mexican) was born in the U.S. ?

We got hitched!

My sister-in-law, Cairo and I drove early morning on Saturday to the detention center where Jose is currently being housed.  We were supposed to be there by 8am and arrived about a half hour early.  We were informed that it would be a while since the Judge had to look at 19 cases before we would be up in front of him.  I asked 3 different officers if they would let Cairo in with me, I was denied 3 times.  To there credit they seemed really sorry for denying the request, I understand rules are rules and they have to follow orders.

It was finally our turn, an officer came and got us.  Cairo and my sister-in-law would be allowed to watch the ceremony from another room through a window.  I walked in and saw my Gordo in his orange jump suit.  The first thing I asked was if I could hug him and I just grabbed him before they could even respond 'Yes'. Tears just came flowing and all I could do was pray that moment would last forever.  The Judge told us to hold hands and the ceremony began.  For some reason the words coming from the Judge had much more meaning and I hung on every word as we squeezed each others hand.  Finally he told Jose to kiss the bride.  He asked us to come forward to sign our names.  We hugged good-bye and that was that.

My sister-in-law said all the officers in the room with us were smiling ear to ear, there were at least 4 standing behind us.  I think there so many because Jose was not handcuffed.  I suppose we will be the talk of the town for a bit, I can't imagine they have prison weddings very often.  We couldn't stay for visitations, they were not going to be for another 2-3 hours and my sister-in-law had to go back home.  That day my co-worker stopped by with a carrot cake :D  She was so sweet, she said "I didn't know what was appropriate, so I got you cake!".  That night Cairo and went to visit a couple friends of mine.  One made me a congrats card and the other made me a mini wedding cake!  They are so funny. Plus she brought a bottle of wine to toast.  Another friend sent a gift card.  I swear this time around we got more cake, gifts and congratulations then the first time!! I am very lucky to have friends like these.  I really wish Jose was there with us to share the cakes and wine.

The next morning Cairo and I drove out to the prison again to see Jose.  We got there about 30 minutes early, some time after noon they called his name and we both jumped up.  We were sent to a room full of monitors and video cameras.  The visitation is via video....considering you are not allowed anything into the visitation room, no jackets, phones, keys...etc..God forbid we try to sneak something through the glass most prisons have.  Any way, we sat and within moments Jose was on the screen, it was great to see him again.  There was a phone to talk through, Cairo was really excited to see his dad and Jose was really happy to see us.  It was a 30 minute visit and since there are a max of 2 people who can visit him for 30 minutes a week (total, not each), we can not go back until next Sunday and they are sticklers on this rule.  I'm just glad I can see my Gordo every week until this is all over.

His next court date is Monday the 21st.  We have not heard from anyone about the old case.  I can only pray that this gets resolved soon so Jose can finally come home.

I'm getting MARRIED!!!!!!

Just had to share :D  We're getting married this Saturday!  I have to be there at 8am which means we need to be up and on the road by 6:30am...yaaawwn...but I will be there with bells on!   I just can't wait to give my Gordo a big ol' hug and kiss!  It's going to be done in the court house and I will be taking Cairo with me.  I don't know if the judge will let Cairo see Jose, other than through a glass window O.o, but you bet that will be my primary request. Even if I give Gordo the kiss and Cairo gives the hug.

I JUST CAN'T WAIT FOR SATURDAY!!!!!