8 months

So now it's been 8 months since Jose has been detained.  I don't have any major updates on either case.  Our attorney is working on trying to get the state to help us vacate Jose's old case.  Meanwhile I've been working with immigrant groups.  I was invited to the Chicago Bar Association Human Rights Committee meeting last month to tell our story and what mandatory detention is doing to our family.  I think I did an ok job.  Everyone looked kinda depressed when I was done.

Jose's next immigration court date is Jan 11.  I went to see him yesterday, he had asked not to take Cairo because Cairo gets angry and doesn't talk to him or let me talk to him, so we decided that I'd take him every other week for now.  The focus of our conversation this time was planning out what to pack up for Jose if he is deported.  He requested I buy him some cloths, shoes and money to take to him that day.  It was like I was stabbing myself every time I said "si....si....si".  He's right, we have to be prepared for the worst and the worst is that he will be deported and forever be banned from the country.  What would happen after that? I don't know.  My Aunt is here visiting from Mexico and to be quite honest she's freaking me out.  If we were to move to Mexico, our option is Monterrey.  That is where all my family is, it's a big city (unlike where Jose is from) and we'd be able to find work...we hope...and the quality of life would not be too dramatic.  Of course it will be different, there's no denying that, but the roads are paved, there are grocery stores and schools and we'd have a washer and dryer somewhere.

Cairos anxiety is getting worse.  He's started to draw blood from ripping his nails off.  I've given him paper to tear and my friend is getting a bunch of anxiety balls for him but the paper is not helping.  When ever he's idle, in between choosing what toy to play with or watching TV or in the bathroom, he's there ripping his nails off.  I was hoping going to therapy and finally being able to see Jose would slow it down but it hasn't.  Cairo is just as angry as he was in the beginning.  He actually yelled at Jose the last time we went to see him.

I keep planning out in my head what our options are to live in Mexico.  I am not fond of what is going on down there now.  My family has quite frankly freaked me out. If we move, we'd be moving to Monterrey.  10 years ago I would have been all gun hoe about moving but now, I must admit, I'm concerned.  Jose would stay there with my family. We figure there will be a better opportunity for him to find a job there, in the big city rather than in the dirt road rancho he's from...but then what?  I know it's all doable but I'm a planner and a thinker, it sucks because that holds me back sometimes.  Will he and I be able to find jobs?  Should we try setting up a business?  What kind of business?  Will we make enough to give Cairo a decent life?  What about Cairos school?  What about the violence?  Is it really that bad?  Where would we live?  What if we have more kids?  How will Cairo deal with the change?   How long will it take for us to sell the house and move? I go over these things, over and over again....I compare my job now, where I make a decent living and have benefits, to ...... what?

I'm scared.  I'm scared of the unknown and not knowing what direction this is all going.

7 months

Three days ago marked the 7 month mark of Jose being under mandatory detention.  The only good news I have to give is that our marriage request was approved and he's been moved closer to home, about an hour or so away from us.

Mr. Little B and I went over to ICE on Friday and talked to the officer in charge of Joses case. She tolds us we were just approved that morning.  I talked to Jose this evening and he said he has signed all the paper work needed and all I needed to do was to drive over there and pay the $30 fee and that they would be in contact with me.  So far, they have yet to call or send me anything official so I'm giving them a few more days before I go over and ask what bloody hell?  

We also requested that Jose be moved closer.  That same day we were told he would be moved on Wednesday, as in tomorrow, but he was moved yesterday, Monday.  This kinda solidifies the horror stories I've heard about people being deported days before they were told and ICE sending their family memebers on wild goose chases across the country trying to get one last good bye before they are forever ripped apart.

My cousin and her hubby have been here for about a week, they will be leaving this Friday.  In mental preparation of the possibility of moving to Monterrey I asked them what the economy is like there and how bad is it really?  They straight forwardedly said stay here.  They said if they could they would stay here themselves.  It was not the answer I was hoping for.  I was hoping for a sign of "don't worry, you guys will be ok" or "things are slowly getting better", something like that, but no that is not what I heard.  I heard that jobs are scarce and underpaid and the violence is so bad you are a prisoner in your own home.  This puts a dent in plan B, now what do I do?  I can't imagine living my life with my husband in an another country, Jose needs his son just at much as Cairo needs his dad, yet if Jose is deported there is absolutely no way of getting him back the "legal way". What are my options?  I'm at a loss, but I feel like I need to keep fighting to keep him here and to get him back especially if living in Mexico is out of the question.

Detention conditions and death at the border

It was good to hear Jose's voice yesterday.  He calls on Sundays now and we can only talk for 15 minutes, they go by so fast.  What he said really concerned me.  The detention center has become over populated.  There are 70 people to a room and now there are beds in the gym, hall ways and people sleeping under stairs.  Obviously there are no bathrooms in the gyms.  The conditions there are worsening.  Jose also mentioned that two men, who were recently deported, were killed in Mexico.  I don't know the details but this scared the crap out of me. Hopefully when I talk to him next he'll be able to give me more details about that so I can relay the info to Mr. Little B.  I tried to find information online about people who were deported were killed at the border or shortly after, no luck.  Not even with Mexican news, so if anyone reading this knows of some please send the links my way?

We have court this and next Wednesday.  I'm praying for something good to happen this time.  We really need some good news.  Every time we are in court or awaiting some sort of decision I am hopeful only to be shut down by a denial or not get a response at all.  It's like the Universe is telling us to give up, all we want is for something to go our way.  Jose is tired, he's been detained for almost 7 months now.  He's far away from us and is living in really bad conditions at the center.  My son misses his father and I miss my Gordo.