It's hard to ask for help

I just started Joses petition yesterday and I've got printed versions to ask people if they can sign it.  I thought it would be a good way to get the online peeps to sign and the too tech savvy to sign it.  The first person I asked to sign the paper petition was one of my mom's neighbors, it was not difficult to ask her, she willfully accepted and even spoke well of Jose.  Tonight a few of us went to another one of my mom's neighbors house for a Tupperware party thing (and yes, it was a real Tupperware party not an "alternative" Tupperware party), there were plenty of would be signers of the petition.  I was able to ask the women I knew to sign it and they did, I could not, on the other hand, ask the other women or the men to sign.  The hostess and my sister-in-law asked for me, I just broke down in tears.  I could not bring myself to vocalize the purpose of the petition.  This is an emotional hurdle I just can't get passed. Talking to my sister-in-law earlier I thought it was my insecurities, el que diran? (what will they say?) syndrome.  The more I think about it now, it's not so much el que diran, it's the fact that I feel extremely vulnerable, I feel weak.  I never really learned how to ask for help when I need it, my family can tell you that.  It was hard enough to open up to close friends about this but now to tell people that do not know me or Jose or my family very well and to ask them to sign something for us, it's hard. I'm going to do my best to get passed it, it's one more hurdle I need to get over and it's not the biggest considering everything else that's going on.  I've said this before and I will say it again, I am very humbled and touched by the generosity and support we have gotten so far.  Thank you to all of you, I hope to be able to return the favor in some way.

Real friends are hard to find

I was told "you'll know who your true friends are when you are in need" when I was teenager, I can't remember by who but it stuck in my head.   I'll be the first to admit it, I'm the worst friend ever.  I don't keep in touch as often as I should, I prefer email or txt messages over a phone conversation and I'm down right thoughtless sometimes.  I don't do it on purpose or with an intention to offend or ward of anyone.  I think it's because I've become a cyber hermit of sorts.  I've lost social skills to technology, I'm not trying to excuse myself just trying to explain the why I am how I am.

Since the possibility of Jose's deportation got hurled, into our tranquil for the most part, lives I've been working to try and get him home.  I didn't announce to the world "Hey! Guess what's going on!!!", there were very few people who knew Jose had been picked up.  My own insecurities and not knowing what was going to happen or how quickly kept me quiet about it.  After Joses first court appearance Mr. Little B asked that I get together family photos and reference letters for Jose.  The photos I can get....but reference letters?  I know I can count on my family but who else would be willing to write up reference letters for Jose?  So, I started asking around, my friends, coworkers people I know that have interacted with him....I mean what's the worse that could happen right?  I even started tracking down some of Joses buddies, some he had known for years and had even come to our house on an occasion or two.  Thanks to some I was able to get in touch with people he had lost contact with and had known since before he met me, ten years ago.

I'm so grateful that I was able to find these people.  They are willing to help us out and write letters for Jose.  People I'm meeting for the first time and my own friends who have had minor interactions with him, at birthday parties and such, but are more than willing to help.  I'm touched that so many people are willing put on paper that they know him and can vouch that he's not such a bad guy.  What I did not expect was to have some of his "friends", people he probably talked to the day before he was detained, to disappear.  I guess they weren't really friends?  Then why say you'll help and then bail?  Knowing that someones life and their families life could be affected and all you need to do is say he's not a threat to society....I mean wouldn't you do it for someone you knew?  It seems like a really small thing you can do that could really help someone...no?

Like I said, I think I'm horrible friend, I don't keep in touch as often as I should and sometimes I forget to call back.  One thing is for sure, I won't leave a friend hanging like that.  I may not be able to loan money, cuz lord knows my budget is a work in progress but if someone I know needs to be vouched for,  heck yeah I'm gonna do it, no doubt about it.

First Court Day

At 9am I was downtown in a small court room which had seating for 8 people.  The judge sat in the front facing an enormous TV that displayed the live streaming video a detainee some where else in the country.  If this case gave a hint to what our future held, it did not look good.  No bail, voluntary departure request denied. Next came Jose.  Mr. Little B asked for a continuance for as long as they would give so that he could prepare for court since he was just hired last week.  Request granted,  August 1st.  They allowed me to see Jose and speak to him for a moment.  It was good to see him after a month of only speaking to him.  I cried.  Jose, of course, was calm and collected.

 I walked away feeling a little numb.  I thought I was going to pass out in that cold room.  When we walked out I was given a task.  To obtain any evidence that would help Joses case.  Family pictures and letters from friends and family vouching for Joses character.  I'm on it boss!   I should be sorting through pictures this weekend and will print them soon enough.  The letters on the other will take a bit longer to get but not impossible.  I've already called upon my friends and family, I am very grateful we have that kind of support.  Dear God please let all this help in some way.