Nuns on the bus.

When Jose was moved to McHenry Detention Center I was attending the Broadview prayer vigils. I met several Sisters of Mercy and there was a moment when one of them, after hearing my name, told me she knew who I was. As it turned out these Sisters visited the McHenry Detention Center and visited the immigrant detainees. During their visits, which were in person and not through the video/electronic visitations, they would pray together and asked who the detainees wanted to pray for. There was one man who would always ask for them to pray for his wife, America. I get a knot in my throat just thinking about it. Jose would always ask them to pray for me and our son, without fail.

I became familiar with the Sisters who visited Jose and asked them, at one point, if they could give him a hug for me. They certainly did and Cairo and I got a hug back :)

I got to know these Sisters. They are the reason why priests and nuns are able to board the deportation buses at the Broadview immigrant processing center and pray with the deportees before they are taken to the air port. They are the reason why their is a law in the state of Illinois that allows them to enter the McHenry Detention Center and pray, in person, with immigrant detainees. They are also the ones that connected me to Jose while he was detained. They would tell me if he was well and how he was doing in between our weekly phone calls and video only visits.

They started tour called "Nuns on the bus" and they toured the southern states speaking out in favor of immigration reform . Their tour ends today but I thought it deserved a mention :) You can read about their adventure here.

Woah, it's been almost a year since my last post here.

Life just got in the way and I've kinda neglected posting on this blog. Truth is nothing exciting has been happening for us on the immigration front. We are still scheduled for court in September, we are just anxiously waiting.

Now that my son is on summer vacation I've been trying to go to the Broadview Immigration Vigil every Friday. The last time I was there, two weeks ago, I met a young woman whose significant other was being deported that day. She's about to give birth any day. I gave her my number in case she needed someone to talk to. She mentioned she didn't have anyone here. Her family is in another state. I really hope everything turns out ok for her.

I have to say, even though Jose is home with us, my heart aches for these families who are being torn apart. It's horrible watching the buses leave and the children and wives and husbands of those being deported standing there helplessly, crying. There just has to be a better way of handling this.

8 months

So now it's been 8 months since Jose has been detained.  I don't have any major updates on either case.  Our attorney is working on trying to get the state to help us vacate Jose's old case.  Meanwhile I've been working with immigrant groups.  I was invited to the Chicago Bar Association Human Rights Committee meeting last month to tell our story and what mandatory detention is doing to our family.  I think I did an ok job.  Everyone looked kinda depressed when I was done.

Jose's next immigration court date is Jan 11.  I went to see him yesterday, he had asked not to take Cairo because Cairo gets angry and doesn't talk to him or let me talk to him, so we decided that I'd take him every other week for now.  The focus of our conversation this time was planning out what to pack up for Jose if he is deported.  He requested I buy him some cloths, shoes and money to take to him that day.  It was like I was stabbing myself every time I said "si....si....si".  He's right, we have to be prepared for the worst and the worst is that he will be deported and forever be banned from the country.  What would happen after that? I don't know.  My Aunt is here visiting from Mexico and to be quite honest she's freaking me out.  If we were to move to Mexico, our option is Monterrey.  That is where all my family is, it's a big city (unlike where Jose is from) and we'd be able to find work...we hope...and the quality of life would not be too dramatic.  Of course it will be different, there's no denying that, but the roads are paved, there are grocery stores and schools and we'd have a washer and dryer somewhere.

Cairos anxiety is getting worse.  He's started to draw blood from ripping his nails off.  I've given him paper to tear and my friend is getting a bunch of anxiety balls for him but the paper is not helping.  When ever he's idle, in between choosing what toy to play with or watching TV or in the bathroom, he's there ripping his nails off.  I was hoping going to therapy and finally being able to see Jose would slow it down but it hasn't.  Cairo is just as angry as he was in the beginning.  He actually yelled at Jose the last time we went to see him.

I keep planning out in my head what our options are to live in Mexico.  I am not fond of what is going on down there now.  My family has quite frankly freaked me out. If we move, we'd be moving to Monterrey.  10 years ago I would have been all gun hoe about moving but now, I must admit, I'm concerned.  Jose would stay there with my family. We figure there will be a better opportunity for him to find a job there, in the big city rather than in the dirt road rancho he's from...but then what?  I know it's all doable but I'm a planner and a thinker, it sucks because that holds me back sometimes.  Will he and I be able to find jobs?  Should we try setting up a business?  What kind of business?  Will we make enough to give Cairo a decent life?  What about Cairos school?  What about the violence?  Is it really that bad?  Where would we live?  What if we have more kids?  How will Cairo deal with the change?   How long will it take for us to sell the house and move? I go over these things, over and over again....I compare my job now, where I make a decent living and have benefits, to ...... what?

I'm scared.  I'm scared of the unknown and not knowing what direction this is all going.

Detention conditions and death at the border

It was good to hear Jose's voice yesterday.  He calls on Sundays now and we can only talk for 15 minutes, they go by so fast.  What he said really concerned me.  The detention center has become over populated.  There are 70 people to a room and now there are beds in the gym, hall ways and people sleeping under stairs.  Obviously there are no bathrooms in the gyms.  The conditions there are worsening.  Jose also mentioned that two men, who were recently deported, were killed in Mexico.  I don't know the details but this scared the crap out of me. Hopefully when I talk to him next he'll be able to give me more details about that so I can relay the info to Mr. Little B.  I tried to find information online about people who were deported were killed at the border or shortly after, no luck.  Not even with Mexican news, so if anyone reading this knows of some please send the links my way?

We have court this and next Wednesday.  I'm praying for something good to happen this time.  We really need some good news.  Every time we are in court or awaiting some sort of decision I am hopeful only to be shut down by a denial or not get a response at all.  It's like the Universe is telling us to give up, all we want is for something to go our way.  Jose is tired, he's been detained for almost 7 months now.  He's far away from us and is living in really bad conditions at the center.  My son misses his father and I miss my Gordo.

Attorney hired

The immigration attorney has been hired and now we wait.  I like that he's very passionate about what he does.  Our conversation didn't last very long today I made my points and brought up the ICE memo, to which he responded "The ICE attorneys here have not even heard of it." and when he asked a judge about it the judge said "It's not going to make a difference".  Basically he said, ICE and Mr. Obama are pandering for the Latino vote.  It seems that the memo was sent out to make it seem like something is being done to help the community when in reality they are still trying to hit their yearly quota of over 300,000 people deported.  You might say what do you expect the memo came out almost a week ago?  The thing is, it affects peoples lives.  It affects my life.  If that memo came out Friday the attorneys should be putting it into effect Monday.  I understand some things take time but that is something I don't have.  Jose has court Wednesday and if these attorneys read the memo and put it into effect he might be let go....but they haven't and might not ever read that memo and where will that leave us?

After our meeting I practically ran with Mr. Little B to the local church, he picked up a rosary and a book and he bought me the Virgin de Guadalupe card I want to send to Jose.  He had them blessed and ran back to his next appointment and I stayed and cried and prayed.  He informed me of the vigil that is held every Friday morning down town for the people being deported that morning.  I'm thinking of going and add to the support...I'm afraid to see the buses leave though.  I'm not sure I'll be able to handle seeing all those people being taken away.

What Mr. Little B said doesn't mean we're not going to fight, it just means we are going fight even harder.  Laws are placed in such a way that they suppress minorities.  In Joses case, even though he was convicted of a crime where there was no victim, no one was hurt yet he is marked as an undesirable, a person who is deportable in this countries eyes.  It doesn't matter that he made a mistake that Millions of Americans make every day (and have every right to make but that is a topic for another day), or that he's a stay at home dad or that his son who desperately needs him is waiting for him to come home.  They don't see the people, they see the conviction. They don't see the broken home or a family torn apart, they see their quota increased.

No verdict on the memo

I talked to Mr. Little B., he didn't have any good news for me.  Since the memo I mentioned before is relatively new no one knows how the prosecutors are going to be taking it or putting it into effect.  I refuse to give up, but as time passes and the less positive things I hear from the people who are in the line of fire my mind lingers back to my Mexico survivor guide :(  On paper they may be deporting just him but in reality they would be deporting the three of us.

I still have not hired him, I'm waiting, again, for Mr. Big B to get back to me.  I hope it's soon.  It's coming to the point where we have to decide do we add on debt for the attorneys fees and risk still being deported or do we give up and accept what is being dealt to us?  I don't want to leave, this is my home, but I can't live with my family separated and added debt on top of it.  I have a somewhat stable job with benefits and it's safe here, I don't want to exchange that with unemployment and a possible death sentence.  I'm scared and I don't know what to do.